Are You Worthy of More Money?
Updated: Jun 18
The Relationship Between Your Net Worth and Your Self Worth
The relationship between net worth and self worth comes up many times on our journey through life. There’s a powerful connection here that links your worthiness to your financial wealth. The 1980s showcased prime examples of an amplified bigger-is-better attitude that we still hold onto today. You might not think your self worth is tied to your assets, but research shows otherwise.
As it turns out, money actually can buy you happiness up to a certain point, but beyond that, it has no effect. If you are struggling to pay bills from month to month then you will experience more stress. Once you become comfortable financially and feel stable, stress levels decrease and money no longer affects your level of happiness. Untangling the layers of understanding what’s holding you back from allowing money to flow in your life is deep-seated and very often tied to your self worth.
The good news is that with a little effort and right thinking you can make new habits around your worthiness and your relationship with money. These new habits will set you on a path to creating the kind of wealth you deserve and build up your self worth, too.
Our relationship with money has been baked into us since the time we were small. How our parents, friends, and neighbors talked about money gave us clues to what we could expect in our own lives. Without even realizing it, our limiting beliefs around money were formed.
The belief that money is hard to come by
The belief that people with money are bad
The belief that everyone is out to take your money
The belief that you don’t deserve money
These beliefs so connected to your identity that you will say, “No,” to great opportunities because they interfere with those beliefs. Outside thoughts will arise that show you are not worthy based on past experiences and belief systems. Most importantly, you may not even realize this is happening! (Don't let this be you!)
For instance, if you have a belief that all rich people are unethical, then the opportunity to make a lot of money in a short time will feel like cheating or you will be afraid you, yourself, will become an unethical person. You will start to look for ways that take you out of the experience of earning and into keeping you securely safe and honest and poor.
Everyday heroes are poor and villains are rich is a story that has been shown to us from the time we are babies. Disney has done a great job at portraying classic tales in this way. (That said I love a good Disney movie and Cruella is my current fave!)
As you begin to address your worthiness issues around money, there are three main things to remember…
There is nothing wrong with working hard
There is nothing wrong with money
You can have more money and not work that hard (really, it’s OK!)
I have a friend who has a strong belief that you have to work hard for money. This is a finance guy who has been integral in the building and selling of major multi-million dollar companies. His belief is so buried in his psychology that he somehow finds himself jumping ship just before the big payout every single time. He's sure that he is making the right financial decisions, yet he gets left out of a huge payout in the end. His lack of worthiness is holding him back from a well-deserved payday.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t work hard for money. It’s a great way to make money, just not the only way.
The other belief that holds us down is that we have associated money with greed. Multimillionaires like Jeff Bezos get a lot of grief for not doing the "right things" with their money. We love judging the rich about their spending or the fact that they don’t give to worthy causes or to the causes we support. We’ve equated having lots of money to people we don’t like. There’s a lot of press around the rich not donating to charities so we see the rich as bad or uncharitable. You don’t want to be aligned with the negative rich, do you?
But here's a little side note for you…
Everyone can do whatever they want with their money. You can do what you want with your money. Jeff Bezos can do what he wants with his money. We don’t get to say how anyone spends their money. If you want to do what you want with your money then you have to let others do what they want as well.
Being good or bad has nothing to do with how much money you make.
Who you are doesn't change when you have money. If you’re a charitable person then you’ll be able to donate more, but it is not required. Whoever you are today will remain. Adding money to the picture doesn’t make you a villain unless you decide that it does. The more money I make, the more I can support others and help them rise as well. This can be true for you, too!
How to untangle
If your self worth is tied to your financial abundance then it is wise to work on your story around money so that you can impact the world positively. By keeping small and sticking with your story you are not inviting opportunities to serve humanity on the level you could.
You can begin untangling through Tiny Habits® Recipes without going into any super deep healing. (PHEW!)
First, I encourage you to do work that feels good and makes sense to you. This is different from a mantra practice where you say something until you believe it. This is about re-writing the story in a way that makes sense to you. You must believe it, not just say it. (Read that one again: You must believe it not just say it.)
Here are examples of Tiny Habits® Recipes you can implement to begin shifting that relationship.
After I find myself thinking I don’t want to be like those people, I will remind myself that I can have money and do good in the world in my own way.
After I find myself judging those who have money, I will remind myself that money is just energy.
After I find myself uncomfortable about an opportunity to make money, I will ask myself what story am I telling myself about this opportunity.
You might also need to practice some one-time behaviors to set yourself up for success.
Examples of those would be...
Make a list of people with money doing a lot of good in the world.
Finding these role models will help you to reframe how you view people with money
Make a list of all the ways your money supports others as you share, invest and spend it.
Know when you spend money you are circulating it. It supports not only the organization but also their employees and their families. As you circulate your money you are always supporting others.
Make a list of all the things you would do if you had more than enough money.
Doing this can remind you of all the good you can accomplish with more money.
Read these lists as often as you like. You could even make a Tiny Habit Recipe around that:
After I open my computer in the morning, I will read my Happy Money Lists.
The way you view yourself says a lot about your income. You can influence the energy around money when you feel worthy of it.
Self worth and money do go hand and hand. Now that you know you have the power to change the story and tap into the energy where money flows naturally it is time to do the work. If you have questions or are interested in Tiny Habits® workshops to support your path towards financial freedom, contact me. Staying safe in your comfort zone is so 2020, let us rise together.